I’m a Christmas unicorn In a uniform made of gold With a billy goat beard And a sorceror’s shield And mistletoe on my nose
Oh I’m a Christian holiday I’m a symbol of original sin I’ve a pagan tree and magical wreath And a bowtie on my chin
Oh I’m a pagan heresy I’m a tragic-al Catholic shrine I’m a little bit shy with a lazy eye And a penchant for sublime
Oh I’m a mystical apostasy I’m a horse with a fantasy twist Though I play all night with my magical kite People say I don’t exist
For I make no full apology For the category I reside I’m a mythical mess with a treasury chest I’m a construct of your mind
Oh I’m hysterically American I’ve a credit card on my wrist And I have no home nor field to roam I will curse you with my kiss
Oh I’m a criminal pathology With a history of medical care I’m frantic shopper and a brave pill popper And they say my kind are rare
But I’ve seen others in the uniform Of a unicorn just like me We are legions wide and we chose no sides We are masters of mystique
For you’re a Christmas unicorn I have seen you on the beat You may dress in the human uniform, child But I know you’re just like me I’m a Christmas Unicorn! (Find the Christmas Unicorn!) You’re a Christmas Unicorn too! ￼￼￼ It’s all right. I love you.
It was reported yesterday that Ms. Lauryn Hill has been charged with three counts of misdemeanor failure to file taxes. These charges were incurred for the years of 2005-2007, during a time in which Ms. Hill had removed herself and her family from society, in order to keep them safe, healthy,…
Oh, ya know, just another quiet Sunday evening eating some severed human penis.
"Close-up photos of the braised genitals showed a sliced penis shaft with clearly visible corpora cavernosa and urethra, a sliced testicle with the look and texture of sea urchin sushi, and scrotal skin with about 3 mm of pubic hair growth. Rounding out the presentation the chef garnished the genitals with button mushrooms and Italian parsley."
"Sugiyama had also intended to include his nipples on the menu, but his attempt to burn them off with sodium hydroxide did not result in anything usable."